Sometimes I wonder...

   It's true. Sometimes I do wonder. I wonder about friends, school, me, others in general, the state of our planet, how things used to be, how things are gonna be, what I should have done, what I can do, what I am doing. There's more, but you know, I wonder how long it would take to write them all. 

   Today I wondered a lot. Actually, I've found my self wondering so much lately that wondering has become thinking to me. I wonder if that makes sense to anyone but me. 

   Today I wondered, "What did I do wrong?" and "How can I fix it?" and "Was it even me?" I wonder if the person this is directed at knows its them. I didn't want it to go that way. I was just trying to help.

   I wonder "What happened to all those nice things we wrote to each other?" and "Do I still mean that much to her?" but at the same time "Did I ever mean that much to her?" I think about how all those wonderful things we said were over text, or email, or Facebook, or somewhere written out. I meant everything I said and I thought she did too. Why have we never said this stuff in person? Or did we? So it can be heard, not just read. Then I wonder "Does that even matter? There just words, no matter written or spoken."

   Now I wonder, "What will happen tomorrow?" and "How long will this last?" However, I'm wondering most, "Is she okay?" 

   I feel somewhat like I failed to do my job as her best friend, to protect her, help her, keep her safe. I wonder, "Why has she been acting this way?" and "How come she never seems happy anymore?" but more importantly "Why is it only those split-second instances that I can see her beautiful smile these days?"

So if your reading this, and you know your the one I am so worried about, do me a favor and let me know in some way (talk to me, email, text me, comment below, Facebook, or maybe call me.) Please.

Thanks.

Love,

Your Best Friend (I think)